Twenty-Somethings? Quarter Life Crisis? What on earth are they? Am I one? Why is it such a big deal?
So the last few weeks I’ve noticed a lot of posts about these ‘twenty-something’s’, quarter life crisis’s and what it means to be a wonderful individual in their twenties. I figured that as I’ve experienced my first year of being a Twenty-Something, I would mention a few of the things that think relate to being in your twenties and the things I laugh and cry about with my friends!
It seems that everyone is a little obsessed with this ‘Quarter Life Crisis’ lark and the fact that apparently a lot of people in their twenties are a bit of a mess. This could be due to the fact that the world we live in over the last few years, or while we – the Twenty-Somethings – have been around has changed a hell of a lot. Meaning that the way we live or experience, what could be, the most important years of our lives is a lot different to the way our parents or even our older siblings experienced it. We are learning that life is pretty damn difficult and the path that we thought our lives would take through TV, books and our parents examples isn’t necessarily true and that sometimes things can get a bit too complicate for our liking and possibly cause a alcohol induced emotional breakdown. (Thanks for that guys!)
So I decided I would do this in 3 separate posts as you may have learnt by now that I tend to ramble, meaning this post
could go on forever! Soz for that guys! When I’m on a roll, I cant help it! I figured I would break this wonderful mess down into the 3 main reasons why us twenty-somethings are feeling a bit lost on our journey to greatness.
These being Friendships, Relationships and Life Goals. I think that these are the main areas where my issues or confusion have come in and the main things that I have long hearty chats about with my friends and family.
So friendship, in your twenties? It’s scary stuff! As that I’m only nearly 21 I haven’t really had much time to experience all of the effects of being a twenty-something, but I have already learnt that over the last couple of years my friends, friendship groups and what I think of as a friend has completely changed.
In high school and growing up, you usually have one set of friends who you have known forever and practically grow up
with. For me I had one ‘proper’ best friend who was like a sister and then a few other close friends. She came on holidays with us, my parents would automatically cook her dinner after school and she had her own drawer of clothes in my room. We were what you could call joined at the hip. People would always get confused and horrified if we weren’t together and we were seen as one- ‘The Lauren’s.’ (her name was also Lauren!) We practically spent every waking minute together.
But then all this changed when I went to a college that was 20 miles away to do A Levels and she went to a college in the other direction to do a BTEC. We always said that we would be friends forever and all that cheesy crap but in reality, I may have had the best years of my life with her and I wouldn’t change my teens years in any way, but we grew apart. We gradually became busy with different things, finished college at different times, didn’t have the same things to talk about and it all stopped.
And you could say that the same happened with my friends from college. We spent 2 years getting to know each other and growing close, then 6 months into starting uni we stopped making effort with each other.
That’s the main issue- effort. If no one makes any then it fizzles out to nothing.
I met up with my college friends in the holidays when we were back in Norfolk for a catch up meal etc but when things got busy, people stopped making the effort to travel the extra 10 miles or had better things to do, meaning it fizzled out.
But another thing I have noticed with my friends in my twenties is that half of my friends were off to uni the same as I did whereas the others were off getting full-time jobs, and having babies. This I found really difficult to cope with as I didn’t know what we had in common any more. We couldn’t talk about the recent gossip at school or college or even what we had been up to because we lead completely different lives; I was going out getting drunk on £7 vodka and they were up at 6am everyday with a baby.
The same goes for my uni friends, we come from completely different parts of the country and we all, myself included, have a tendency to separate our uni and home lives. We will spend all our time together and act like a real family when we are at uni, but then when we return home we won’t hear from each other for 4 months. And this is terrifying as it makes me think about if no one makes any effort when you finish uni, will I even have any friends left?
Friendship in your twenties is scary. You never know if this person you’re growing close to is going to stay for a few months or the next 10 years. This sometimes lead me at times, to feel really lonely and occasionally I’d have a little breakdown, usually accompanied by Domino’s, about my loss of ‘real’ connections. Especially while visiting home.
It’s not all bad though! Don’t go and cry yet guys!
I have met some wonderful and lovely people and I wouldn’t change any thing from my past at all! For example I am still very close to my other very close friend from high school (That’s you Miss SJC!) and we have been through all of this together. She is still my best friend and I truly believe that we are going to be friends for the rest of our lives. Babies, marriage etc is nothing compared to what we have been through so far! Yeah we don’t see each other as often as we would like to, due to uni’s being hundred of miles apart, work and relationships. But we are still here, making that effort and being each other’s rocks for when life throws that dreaded curveball.
Oh and my uni gals! Oh guys, I do love you! Yes we were thrown together in halls (so we had to learn to tolerate each other anyway!) and yes if you don’t start tidying up I may threaten to burn your belongings but I wouldn’t have made it through the last 2 years without you! To say I started uni with never stepping foot in a nightclub or really even drinking you guys have shown me the night-life and how a Tesco value bottle of vodka and 8p bottle of lemonade can fix all life’s problems for a few hours. But not only that, you have also shown me how to open up to people and embrace the weird, to be a bit more extroverted and crazy at times, how to chill out and try new things. I’m no longer the quiet Lauren who will happily sit in her bedroom with no human contact for a few days. I’m now Lala, your weird yet wonderful one who has unlimited knowledge about random crap, loves tortellini and a gossip and is the house therapist/DJ. So yeah I love you guys, even if we do drift on to our separate ways after university, I will be forever grateful for the laughs, tears and lessons you have accompanied me through in Lovely Chester!
I suppose that is the scary thing about being in your twenties, everything is changing.
And I guess it’s just something to get used to as nothing can prevent change, you just have to embrace it. I have friends and I love all of them, some may be here for a little while and some may be here till the day I die. I will just have to enjoy every day I get with them and treasure the memories. In your twenties the way you view people and relationships change, you realise everyone is leading a complicated life and that not everything revolves around boys, that new bitchy girl at school or if you were going to the duck pond or rec after school. You have different kinds of friends, the ones who you live with, the ones who you work with and the ones who you have known a lifetime.
I think this is something that took me a while to get my head around, I no longer had one or two ‘best’ friends, I had 5 or 10 friends for different circles of life. Which is equally as brill!
So thanks you crazy bunch for helping through this crazy time of life and rapid change!
Soz for alllll the emotions!
Love you long time and all that jazz!
Next post will be on Relationships in your twenties and how crappy yet amazing it can be!